People are constantly trying to deal with their anger. There are many different ways to control your emotions when it comes to anger. Mark Maraia, a relationship development coach and trainer who works with people, has his own technique to deal with anger that he believes could help many people manage their anger:
I’ve learned a thought process for dealing with negative emotions that I have practiced for more than 20 years. Anyone can use this tool to deal with negative emotions “in the moment” and later if the negative feeling resurfaces. This is a process of rejecting the negative emotion and it actually interrupts this “doom loop.” Rejecting negative emotions can be used in many situations, both personal and business, in the moment — without anyone knowing you’re doing it!”
Here’s how it works. The next time you are overcome with a negative emotion, ask yourself this question: “What am I feeling at this moment?” Get in touch with the feeling or emotion first. Once you’ve done that, make a silent declaration to yourself that you don’t want it anymore! For instance, when someone dangerously cuts you off on the freeway, your thought might be: “I do not want this anger” (or “rage,” if it’s that bad).
Then, replace the feeling with a constructive thought. In this way you make a conscious choice to have a positive state of mind. Your thought might be: “I do not want this anger. I choose to be at peace instead.”
This new skill will take practice. It will probably feel awkward at first. But with enough practice it will become a habit and you will find yourself working through negative emotions in minutes or hours rather than obsessing for days, weeks, or years!
Readers – Do you have difficulties releasing negative emotions? If so, please try this thought process and send your comments on how it works for you! If you would like to ask Mark a question, he can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.